When growth doesn’t look like a climb, acceptance becomes your bridge to what’s next.

We’ve been taught that progress should look like a steady climb—rung by rung, title by title, year after year.

So when we hit a bump and things go sideways, or stall, it can feel like failure. I’ve heard this from so many of the women I coach. They worry about what others will think if they aren’t on that rocket to the top. And explaining it to others becomes something to avoid at all costs.

Here’s what I remind them: you don’t owe anyone your whole story. People have to earn the right to it. You can start with a small circle, such as your close network, trusted mentors, or your personal board of directors. Most people have been there at one point in their careers.

Say What Is—and Let That Be Enough

Sometimes the most freeing thing we can do is drop the extra story—

Not just the one we tell others, but the one we tell ourselves.

Many years ago, I took a job that some people in my circle considered “beneath me.” They couldn’t understand why I’d accept a role I could do, as one person said, “with your eyes closed and hands tied behind your back.”

Here’s the thing: I took that role to heal.

After a toxic experience that left me emotionally bruised, I needed a moment to breathe again and to work with people I respected on work that was meaningful without the chaos or toxicity.

I took the job because none of my new colleagues had any connection to my previous company; it was in an adjacent industry, and that distance gave me space to recover.

I took it because we needed health insurance. 

I took it because I admired the brand and respected the people leading it.

So when people asked, “Why would you go there?” my answer was simple:

“Because it’s a great brand with great people.”

And when someone close to me asked, I’d add:

“It’s a great place to heal.”

That season restored my confidence, my perspective, and my energy.

It gave me what I actually needed—not what looked impressive on LinkedIn.

Make No Mistake: Acceptance Doesn’t Mean Settling

It simply means you’re willing to acknowledge what’s true and act from intention, rather than ego.

Research by psychologists Steven Hayes, Todd Kashdan, and Jonathan Rottenberg calls this psychological flexibility—the ability to face reality without fighting it.

Studies show that acceptance reduces stress and builds resilience, freeing up the mental energy we need for creativity and problem-solving.

When we can name what’s true—

“This role is good for me right now.”

“I’m taking time to heal.”

“I’m rebuilding my confidence.”—

We stop spinning stories and start creating space for insight and new action.

Acceptance is often the first courageous act that helps us get unstuck.

There’s Science Behind the Shift

When we loop on painful stories, our brains activate what’s known as the default mode network, the part that fuels incessant rumination and self-criticism (Brewer et al., 2011).

But when we state the facts without emotional embellishment, that loop quiets. We create cognitive clarity, freeing up attention and energy to move forward.

This is what I call the paradox of acceptance: the more we resist what’s happening, the heavier it becomes. The moment we accept what is, we create space for what’s possible next.

Acceptance Is a Starting Line

It’s the bridge between Awareness and Willingness, the first two elements of my AWE™ framework.

Awareness: I see what’s true.

Willingness: I choose to meet it with curiosity and compassion.

Energy: I channel my focus toward what matters next.

Leaning into where you are doesn’t mean staying there forever. It means acknowledging the ground you’re standing on so you can take your next step with intention instead of desperation.

That’s how you create what’s next from a place of strength, not fear.

And Guess What? People Will Show Up for You

If you’re the one who’s usually doing the helping, this is your chance to let someone else help you.

There’s real science behind the benefits of helping—for the helper. So do them a favor and let them show up for you. (More on this in my blog article.)

Some Qs to Support You Now
  • Where are you resisting what is right now?
  • What story have you been repeating that has you stuck?
  • How might acceptance (without judgment) free up energy for what’s next?
  • What would it look like to take a “healing role” or “rebuilding season” on purpose?
Closing Thought

You don’t have to climb every season. Sometimes your work is to grow personally and get to know yourself even better as a leader.

You get to embrace this moment—to recalibrate and reconnect with what truly matters.

If this is you and you’d like support, let’s connect. 

Remember — you are the most worthwhile project you will ever work on.