Stop leading alone. A strong Tribe is essential for leadership success, helping you grow confidence, see blind spots, and thrive in the messy middle.

I’m a shrimp—5’2 ½” (yes, that half inch matters). Yesterday, as the sun was setting, I snapped a picture of my shadow. Suddenly, I was 10 feet tall. It struck me as a magical metaphor: in the right spaces, with the right people, we all cast a bigger shadow. The lesson? Seek those who help you feel expansive.

I discovered the value of nurturing and building my tribe early. I found myself in a role that was so in conflict with my values I couldn’t even see straight. Without the support of those who knew me, I don’t know if I would have survived. That’s how messy it was, I was questioning everything, doubting myself, and completely lost. It was that tribe who helped me find my footing. They gave me the boost I needed to get back in the game.

This isn’t about avoiding challenge. it’s about surrounding yourself with people who lift you high enough to take the next leap. Speed bumps or a messy moment happen and can make us feel small, so those relationships will make all the difference. These are those safe spaces where you can say what you need to say and receive the support that will guide you through. Depending on the day, our needs may vary. Some days, we may really need someone to remind us of our gifts. They are easy to overlook when we are caught up in a negative thought loop and often lead to isolation. 

My Advice
Connect With and Nurture Your Tribe

Ask them to remind you of your talents and gifts. Sometimes this is what is needed to shift our mindset. Then, let them give it to you straight. These are people who love you and get you. Let them contribute and help you see blind spots that may be holding you back from swinging for the upper deck.

Reach Out to Bosses & Colleagues New and Old (some may even be members of your Tribe)

Try these prompts to spark the conversation.

  • What is something everyone knows about me
  • What are my strengths
  • What are my weaknesses
  • What can everyone count on me for
  • What is something I should work on

Their responses to these questions will remind you not only of your gifts but also of what makes you unique and any gaps to be aware of.   

Get Out There and Mingle 

Find places to connect and be with others in your industry who may even be going through their own version of a messy moment, allowing you to be there for someone else, even in the midst of your own. And, as my friend Allison Arden, Founder and creator of The Elements of Us, reminds me, Human Interaction (being with others) and Help (being of service) are two invaluable Self-Care Elements that support us when we are isolating. It’s a reminder I share often with clients navigating the messy middle: when you connect with others, you’re not just receiving support — you’re also practicing one of the most valuable forms of self-care.

If this step scares you, pick one place you’ll put yourself. I know from experience and from all the feedback from those I support, it’s always scarier in our heads than it is IRL. Take that first step.

Join a Relevant Organization 

Being part of a community is a remarkable way to weather any storm. Get involved. Raise your hand. Show up. I found great support throughout my career being part of organizations like She Runs It. When messy moments hit, this community was there for me in so many ways. 

If you’re in a messy middle moment and are looking for more support, I’m here. Reach out and let’s connect. Check out Building Resilience in the Messy Middle blog post. 

Last suggestion: Go take a pic of yourself at sunrise or sunset. Use that to inspire your awesomeness.  

Remember: You are the most worthwhile project you will ever work on.