Real growth doesn’t happen in the stands—it happens when you step onto the court. Discover how courage, action, and a little messiness spark transformation.

As a Navy ROTC candidate in college, I was summoned to the unit one day to meet with one of the officers.

His job? To reprimand me for not spending more time in the unit.

“What would I do there?” I asked.

“You could work in the library,” he said.

“Huh. Like all the other girls?” I asked.

“You could watch the guys play pool,” he offered.

“Hmmmm. I’m a little too busy to watch a game of pool,” I said.

“You could watch the guys play basketball.”

“ Are you kidding me right now? I’ll watch the guys play basketball when I’m on the team. Even if I’m on the bench, I’ll be the loudest cheerleader. But if you’re asking me to sit in the stands, I can’t do that. Besides, I’m already on a team.”

He laughed—realizing I wasn’t budging.

It may not surprise you to learn I passed on that scholarship. I could see there would be no fit. That conversation taught me something that’s stayed with me for decades:

Life happens on the court.

Anyone trying to keep you in the stands doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

The Stands May Feel Safe—but They Steal Your Growth

We’re all familiar with the stands. They’re comfortable. Predictable. Seemingly safe.The stands are where we overthink instead of act, perfect instead of move, and convince ourselves we’re “not quite ready.”

But here’s the truth:

Growth doesn’t happen in observation. It happens in participation and action.

In fact, Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that mastery and confidence develop not through watching others succeed, but by engaging—by taking the shot, missing, adjusting, and trying again.

And Harvard professor Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety reinforces this: high-performing teams are built on the freedom to experiment and fail forward. Playing it safe keeps you out of the game.

In Positive Psychology, this principle even has a name: Behavioral Activation—taking small, courageous actions that break inertia, boost mood, and build momentum. The movement itself is the medicine. Those

On the Court, You Feel Alive

When you step onto the court, you’re choosing courage over comfort.

You may stumble. It may get messy. You may not have the perfect playbook. But you feel alive.

Every meaningful breakthrough—personally or professionally—comes when you’re willing to trade certainty for growth.

  • Maybe that means speaking up in a meeting where you’ve stayed silent.
  • Launching that idea you’ve been holding back.
  • Saying yes to a stretch role—or no to something that no longer fits.

It’s the same spirit that inspired me to walk away from that ROTC scholarship. I didn’t want to watch the game. I wanted to play it.

How This Connects to AWE

When applied to my AWE™️ Framework—Awareness, Willingness, and Energy—it’s all here:

  • Awareness: Where are you sitting in the stands, and what’s keeping you there?
  • Willingness: Are you open to stepping onto the court, even if it means not knowing the next move?
  • Energy: How does it feel when you’re engaged and moving forward, rather than frozen in place?

That’s the shift from watching to living. From surviving to thriving.

Reflection Time

If you want to bring this from concept to practice, start here:

  • Where are you sitting in the stands right now—watching, waiting, or cheering others on?
  • What’s keeping you there? Fear? Comparison? Comfort?
  • What would it look like to take one small, on-the-court action today?
  • Who’s already on your team, and how can you lean into their support?
  • What messy, imperfect action could you celebrate today just for showing up?

Remember—every step onto the court builds muscle, confidence, and courage.

Your Invitation

If you’re struggling to get out of the stands, you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to your people, or connect with me. And, for some added perspective, take the Messy Middle Archetype Assessment and locate where you are in your journey.

Because life—and leadership—don’t happen in the bleachers. They happen when you’re willing to play.

Play the game. Get on the court. It’s where growth happens.

For more inspiration and support for those messy moments, check out my blog.

You are the most worthwhile project you will ever work on!